Exhausted and worn out,
all I can think of is sleep.
I rest my head against the frail glass window,
an occasional thud; when the bus screeches and brakes.
I stare at the lights outside and wonder how fast the world moves.
The chatter on the radio comes to a stop and a sweet melody strikes the air.
I lean on the window and start humming along…
Another light lingering tune effortlessly mixes in the air…mingling with my carcass humming and suddenly my tune doesn’t sound so offbeat.
His voice silvery coarse – my voice faintly melodic.
I don’t turn.
The lights outside don’t appear sad anymore.
There is a thing with human beings, we think whatever we think and know is true.
As a kid when I first read about atoms- protons, neutrons, electrons!…I was awestruck that something so small and significant existed. I gaped at the thought that I see and touch it everyday yet I never feel its presence. It was like opening my eyes to something that was right in front of me all the time. I remember thinking about my school desk looking at it like an object of amazement and wondering how electrons are revolving around billions of nuclei. And it was so damn hard to believe, I almost told myself that it was a lie. A few days days passed and another thought occurred to me; before I knew of atoms, I thought there was nothing like it. I was unaware of its existence and it was okay..that is how I knew things were. Wood is just wood. I thought I was right.
We think we are right. Don’t we?
Then, it occurred to me what if there could be more to atoms and we think it’s just atoms because we don’t know more about it yet. And the thought was so eye opening that I have clung to it ever since.
Whenever I feel I know something, I look twice to check if I can see more to it. Even if I can’t, I like to keep this thought at the back of my mind that there might be something that I still can’t see..that I still don’t know.
Be it facts or emotions. There is always (okay..almost always) more to it than we know. We believe what we see and hear (I’m more of a see-person) and it is such a surprise that it rarely limits to those boundaries.
Boundaries, in any sense I have seen are meant to be surpassed. There is something beyond boundaries, I have no clue what that something amounts to; it might be a fraction or it might be millions and billions of things. Once it is surpassed..the ground where you land is the new boundary and then it goes on boundary after boundary after boundary.
We keep building and breaking boundaries.
Life appears to be a cycle of it. Like a limbo.
I don’t intend to write a scientific blog. I’m not much of a science girl. I think of all this is in such generic terms. I have had this habit of relating everything to my life and if and when I am unable to relate, I start to loose interest.
When it comes to people in my life, they never cease to amaze me..you think this is where the limit is. This is where she stops but then she takes two steps extra- SURPRISE! and this happens all the time. See, boundaries surpassed?!
This is a funny habit, relating unrelated things and even more funny is the fact that you usually end up establishing a relation. Things aren’t so hard to connect once you start at it. It just connects. Maybe it is all connected for real?
I don’t know if the above chatter makes any sense to you, does it?
Actually the matter is, the server is down..I am jobless and I’ve had around five cups of coffee already! Hope that adds some sense to my mindless musings.
Much love, I hope your coffee is as strong as mine(and not so strong, if you prefer it light ;)).
- Her shoes heavy, full of dirt – from the soccer field, just had her best game ever!
- His blotched white shirt – a canvas as beautiful as his masterpiece!
- The window pane thick with grime – helped her get that award winning shot!
- His hands…all stained, blue with ink – his ultimate piece of writing made him cry!
What did the filth get you?
PS: I don’t like how we label and classify words. Words can’t be classified as good or bad, it’s just a matter of choice; how you wish to string them together.
Bits; pieces; chunks; torn from the whole.
A piece of cake,
A page from a book,
A tissue paper torn in half…scribbles all over it.
A spoon of porridge from your bowl,
The faint humming of the songs you sing,
The things you mumble under you breath,
The hint of shy smile at the corner of your lips.
A piece of the entire – so much more than full.
Image credits: Priyesh Jain or Kavya Pandey (Sorry, I don’t remember distinctly) 🙂
It has been over a year since my friends moved out of city. We never planned to stay after college…so, everybody moved except me!
I am here, it has been a year. I should have had some friends here by now. But the fact is I don’t. It has been both difficult and fun. I’ve spent more time with myself then I ever did before.
I have made this habit of roaming around the city, eating, going to movies, shopping…all by myself. And to be true, I somewhat enjoy it.
I went to a movie yesterday (Don’t ask, it was extremely boring!)
Well, the thing is I ordered sweet corn and the guy at the food counter was kind enough to serve me at my seat. The guy came up to me with this cup full of spicy corn with two spoons in it. I looked at the cup then looked at him. He gave me a slight smile and left. I looked at the cup again rather at the spoons I must say, for a little too long.
Why was it so obvious that I would have company?
No, it did not make me feel friendless or forlorn but it sure made me think about all the people who I wish were sitting beside me. The company that I desire lives miles and miles away from me. And I don’t want friends for the sake of just having someone; to think of them as substitutes. I would never prefer being one myself.
I have no idea what I am trying to convey.
Sometimes you feel a lot of things but you don’t know how to interpret them and that should be okay I guess.
The next time I go there and if they hand me a single spoon, I am definitely going to ask for an extra one 🙂
PS: All you guys, I miss you!
Writing this way is fun! I have no clue why I am doing this. It absolutely makes no sense. I happened to press the strike-through option by mistake when I started writing and here I’m, three lines down and still writing in the same fashion!
All right! I’ll stop, before you click the close button and run away!
I don’t see why I should always make sense though. Who said that everything I do or say should make some sense?
Actually, if I recall…most of the times, senseless are the things that I enjoy doing. When I don’t have to think about the right or wrong or the social implications of it. When I just run wild, doing whatever I want without a worry in the world.
There are some really weird things that I do.
Here is a partial list :
(Because the complete list would make me look way too weird)
- I’ve caught myself drawing boxes on my blank computer screen, sometimes for about 15 minutes straight I guess.
- Writing in
strike-through.Well, this is the latest addition to the list.
- Narrowing my eyes…such that they are almost like little slits and then peeking at the twinkling lights * owwwww…..sooooo…b..e..a..u..t..i..f..u..l *
- While munching chips, focusing on the crunchy sound they make in my head. Sometimes I concentrate so hard that I forget about the taste and sort of become deaf to everything else around.
- Staring at my dog. Just staring at him…yes!
- Slow motion dance without music.
- Hanging upside down (from my bed or my couch)
* Special Talent Alert!!! – I can read, eat and watch television like that *
- In the picture…that is my hand puppet ‘liquid’.
Yes..I find some time for it.
I hope you won’t stop reading my blog after this!
Everyone is allowed to be stupid. I’d love to hear about the things you do 🙂
Busy days! There is a thing with busy days. They are weird, both good and bad.
Mostly, you don’t get the time to think about anything at all. You are all too caught up in work!
Some days, you are so tired after a day at work that once you get back home you don’t even realize when you drift into slumber. The sleep though, sweet and deep!! No usual struggle with the mind. It’s relaxing.
Then there are days, where you are tired but you can’t sleep…maybe you need more than just sleep. You take a nice hot shower and turn on some good music accompanied by little yellow lights( Yes! I’m obsessed with these) and just sit there comfortably wrapped in your blanket digging into a jar of nutella! ❤
Well, the point is…
I find it funny, how I dread busy days. When I think about a day that has been all busy this is what I usually recall ;
-work and work- oh I’m so tired- missed my lunch- my head hurts- is this what you call life? huh!- etc etc-
See the point? I tend to count all the negatives! The time after work, I never seem to remember that.
It’s just funny and maybe a fact! Maybe a funny fact about me or you…or probably all of us!
This makes me think about the bigger picture then. How I might be missing on the best moments when busy counting the ones I dread.
We need more of such musings I suppose!
Glad I could think about the best part today 🙂
When casual clicking gets you something real beautiful.
Back home, things are completely different from the city. A small house on the hill, surrounded my miles of wilderness. You often realize how close you are to nature and how beautifully different it is from the city lights.
These little creatures, they aren’t invaders there.
PS: I am no photographer!
In response: The weekly photo challenge