Something about Self-doubt

I cried for about an hour today. Then I called a friend and talked to her for another hour. Two hours of unrest and kiddish bellowing is what it took, for me to come back to my normal self.

Let me tell you why. It was because another friend (a relatively new person in my life) called me and said a few things implying that I’m indifferent and cold.

I took it in a playful manner until I realized that he really meant what he said. The words were right from his heart.

I told him nothing, apart from this that his perception is flawed (because it’s sketchy in the sense that he does not know me completely). Also, I am unable to understand his random ranter for the very same reason; I do not know him enough.

I said this but I didn’t really believe in it at that point. I asked myself quietly “Am I really a cold person?” and tears followed.

While I was on the phone I realized that this very unrest of mine is a counter to his perception. I am not cold, certainly not indifferent. Else, I would not have been sitting in my balcony, crying on the phone because someone called me a few mean things. My friend on the phone told me the same “You should not let this get to your heart cause you know it’s not true. He might be a good person but he is certainly not in a position from where he sees you as the person you really are.” 

We are all very different people and we should at all times be mindful of the same. Things are not always how they seem and so is the case with people. They are so much more than what we see. Just because someone wasn’t kind to you once, does not mean their heart is devoid of kindness and love. Someone said a few mean words does not lead to the conclusion that they are vile. Hasty conclusions are most often worth trash.

People take time. Friendship takes time. So should you, before you make a judgment.

Whether you like it or not other people will judge you. Mostly as the person, you are not. You might have done the same a lot of times, we are all human.

The point of my childish complaining being – Do not nurture self-doubt in your soul over flawed verdicts on your nature. You are not what other people define you to be. And if people are not patient enough to see you as the person you are really are, let them be. The fault is not yours.

We are all worthy of time and patience. Cut yourself some slack and be kind enough to allow other people the same.

 

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NANOPOBLANO17

Sharing is caring! Check out some of these cool blogs, they are participating in Nano PoBlano17:
David Ellis @ TooFullToWrite Blog
Tooks @ mrtookles (insta-blog)

Kate @ Will Wally Wonder 

Varad @ Loose End of the Red Thread

The Don @ Blended in the Middle Blog 

Palak @ Expressions Blog 

Victoria @ The Loneliness of the Stay-at-Home-Mother Blog 

Namratha @ NamySaysSo Blog 

Ka Malana @ Fiestaestrellas!

Edward @ Edward Fagan Blog

Robert @ Fresh Off the Pad Poetry

Lizzie Ward @ Cats and Chocolate Blog 

Jesska @ Not Throwing Stones

Quixie @ Quixie’s Mind Palace

Heather @ tUrtlettE Blog 

Sarah @ TZBlog

Matt @ The Matticus Kingdom

Cyn @ That Cynking Feeling

 

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The girl on the bus ♥️

She sits by my side on the bed…a puppet in her hand, gazing at the screen. Her chocolate brown hair a mess and her voice happy like a child. Oh that smile! God! I have always adored it, the warmth it brings into my life is unparalleled. I know how I would turn the earth around for that one smile.

There is a girl, a wild one. She is free like the wind yet restrained by her will. She carries oceans and storms within her soul, you can’t just tame that spirit…it’s fierce, beautifully fierce. When you stare into her eyes you can’t look for long…they are deep and they speak volumes. It takes a heap of strength to look her in the eye, those eyes are all knowing. She will take you places and you’ll together make everywhere a home. You will wander, you will be lost but when you close your eyes and turn by your side…you’ll feel her warmth. She will sing melodies and you will never in your life be willing to listen to any other voice. Her voice resonates and reaches for you. She is strength and courage, love and hope, tune and melody. She is a healer…so if you are lucky enough…she will reach for your hand or maybe ask you to share your music with her. Take that hand…share that song cause some people are once in a lifetime. They are precious and once they touch your life it’s never the same again.

She changed mine. I found her on a bus five years ago….I shared a song with her and all my life thereafter♥️