Musings #2

“We live in a bubble. So comfortable, we cannot see the trouble”

This line is from the song ‘Chained to the Rhythm’ by Katy Perry. It gets to me each time.

Isn’t it true? That’s what all of us want from life. That is what we are making it.

A life of illusions. We are determined to drag ourselves away from the pits and chasms. When we truly know, a weave of valleys and uphills is what renders life it’s true essence.

The sunset and the sunrise.

The bud and the blossomed flower about to fall.

Storms are fierce, bold…they can tear things apart. However, as they pass they create a bed for new blossoms. Embrace the storms just like you embrace the blossom.

 

NANOPOBLANO17

 

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The Art of Acceptance

As a child, I read about fear a lot. I was not a small little girl..afraid of darkness. I was the girl who would wrap around a blanket, grip it tight and then run and flick that light switch on. I have always known that the only way to fight fear is to face it. The only way out is in…so my father taught me.

Here is the thing though- more so often in life, there are so many things our heart knows. So many things that you know are correct..the right way to traverse through the pits in life. However often when faced with a situation, knowing them does not seem enough. You know things..lines…motivational phrases..and you repeat them to yourself once..twice..and more. So much more that you lose track of it eventually. You cease to believe it, they become meaningless words.

The 2am thoughts that turn into 5am thoughts and the 2pm drowsiness that follows because you haven’t slept in ages. How do you cure that? Depression and anxiety hand in hand. You feel like running away but you know, you can’t run away from yourself. You feel like talking to people but the very second someone talks to you, you want to push them away. You feel drained and scared. It’s like nobody understands you ever, not completely anyway. You don’t care about motivation and change or being a fighter. All of it appears shallow and pointless. Someone explained it beautifully “Sometimes, all you can do is lie in bed, and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart

You’ll get a lot of the ‘Think positive’, ‘Be a fighter’ and ‘Look at the bright side’ crap. It’s all crap. Sure, we need to come out of the rough phases but that doesn’t mean they are not real. They exist and they are very real. And when you are in the middle of the night staring at nothing in the darkness, numb; you don’t have the energy to force yourself to think about fighting and getting done with it. You just know you are there and that SOMETHING IS WRONG. Embrace it. Accept it. Cry if you want to. Leave everything and everyone for a while, if you think that’s what you need. Take it..feel like crap…cause if you don’t feel, you won’t fight. You need to know it’s real in order to gather the mental solidity to fight it. What I’ve come to realize is that it is important to feel. Ask me what’s beyond doom? It’s being numb my friend! I haven’t been there but I’ve seen it pretty close.

Depression is not something you can get over with…in a day. It might take you a week, a month or even a year. There are no parameters or rules. It’s different for each one of us.

In order to deal with something, you need to understand it first. In order to understand it, you have to accept it. Acceptance leads to change. Acceptance stirs you from within, you know you can’t accept this life because you realize that you almost have. Acceptance will stir a fierce whirlpool that’ll drive you towards change.

So feel, accept and do something about it. This life is all you have.

 

 

NANOPOBLANO17

Sharing is caring! Check out some of these cool blogs, they are participating in Nano PoBlano17:
Ra @ Rarasaur
Julie @ Bug Bytes
Bill @ Bill Friday
Elsie @ Ramblings of a writer
Jessie @ Behind the Willows
Anita Shree @ Heartsongs blog
Sarina @ Shining Seeds Blog
Lori @ LoriStory Blog
Kasturika @ Musings of an eccentric mind
Lorna @ Gin & Lemonade Blog 
Angie @ The Muses Words

The Beginning…

Okay, so this is new. It’s November and like each year I see my reader flooding with so many amazing posts in response to the National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo). I’ve come across variants but this ‘post a blog each day’ sort of had me the very first time I read through it. It’s called the National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo). Seemed simpler than writing a novel yet this would get me in touch with my writing so much more.  I’ve decided to take the challenge and see how far I can go with it. I am running into it with all my heart and with bundles of hope that I’ll make it to the end.

2017 is almost coming to an end, I told myself that this would be a year of change- beginnings- listening to my heart more often.

You guessed it right! None of it happened.

Then some days ago I thought I’ll take up NaBloPoMo, maybe that’ll be my change.

This will be my beginning; beginning to do more of what soothes my soul; beginning to something that makes my dedication towards writing stronger.

Today, on my way back from work I was wondering what I’d write about. I was clueless and I still am. Also, I am clueless about the days to come. This is pure ranter with a curtained hope that it will blossom into meaningful sentences and beautiful phrases. Writing that talks to someone out there. Writing that talks to you.

I have my hopes mounted on the Everest! (fingers crossed)

Happy blogging you all. Let’s see if this end takes me to a new beginning.

NanoPoblano

Want to know more about it? Ra explained it pretty neat here!

NANOPOBLANO17

Andaman – A Photo Essay

A long pending post! I traveled to Andaman last December and have been meaning to share the beauty since then. So let’s get to the trip straight away!

Andaman will blow your mind with it’s raw and serene beauty. It is a must visit for all those who belong to the sea. With it’s magical clear sand and turquoise water beaches; plus the magnificent coral stretches you’ll never want to return. Oh! also there are some pretty cozy resorts with small private beaches – yayy!

Here are some of the pictures. All of them were taken with my phone.

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Aerial view of the islands

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Radhanagar beach; It is said to be the world’s 7th most beautiful beach and so it was ❤

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On our way to the Limestone Caves

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You’ll have to get on countless ferries and sometimes motorboats to move between islands. The travel between these small islands is equally amazing. You’ll come across mesmerizing seascapes.

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Another one near the Limestone caves. On the corners are dense mangroves. We were riding on a small motorboat, which also takes you among the mangroves.

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Coffee with a view!

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The North Bay island is full of pretty corals. I went scuba diving to get a good feel of the beautiful coral reefs.

Crossed scuba diving off my bucket list wohoo!

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The resorts at Havelock island were cozy and comfortable. We stayed at The Sea Shell resort.

And a few more pictures-

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Life is Vanilla

Lacking a bit of inspiration, I headed to the Daily post today. Looking for a prompt or maybe a photo challenge.  The Weekly photo challenge  said – Pedestrian.

I am not much of a photographer but I like taking pictures. So I’ll give this post an appropriate image for the sake of it but what really popped into my head upon reading the word was my own blog- Vanilla with Sprinkles.

Vanilla is regular, ordinary….kind of Pedestrian.

The title holds a deep significance for me and  I’m really attached to it. As a little girl, when I started writing I told myself that my first book will be one named ‘Vanilla with Sprinkles’ and I was so proud for coming up with this name. Unfortunately I haven’t written any books yet. In the process of searching for a name for my blog, I hopped from one idea to another and nothing quite made sense to me. Anyway, I put up a random name and started writing. Each time I looked at my blog I wanted to call it something else. Then one fine day, reading through my old diary I stumbled upon the desires of my past and there it was – VANILLA WITH SPRINKLES! Along with a rough plot starting for my so-called book. I read through the 4 page plot and smiled at myself, to be true…it was pretty lame. Then, I stared at the title, neatly written in bold with a colored pen and I knew right then what I had to do.

My blog, is my very first writing venture. This is something that has always kept my hopes of becoming a writer alive. I may not have attempted a book yet but I always find the time to keep my blog alive and that means a lot to me. I go back and read my old posts sometimes and it makes me realize how my writing has changed and grown along with me. I am way more honest and carefree today than I was back then. Being honest with my writings has brought me so much of peace and it renders essence to what I put down.

Getting back to vanilla, I love the phrase cause it is honest and raw…that is what life is; Life is Vanilla with a shower of different sprinkles;

A smile, a tight hug, a happy tear, a glimpse of hopeful sadness…

A good book, the fragrance of freshly brewed coffee, an afternoon nap…

The crunch of leaves beneath your foot, an old song, crackling of fire wood and crashing of sea waves…

Plain old vanilla is just fine…and then you have such a wide variety of sprinkles to add that finishing touch 🙂

A Comic List

Comics have always been my thing.

There is a plus to illustrations, they simply connect better than words would ever do. Sarah Andersen is one of my favorite illustrators. She is amazing with each and every piece she creates. I was going through my Comics board on Pinterest yesterday and here is a list of 10 comics that describe me the best-

  1. Procrastinate- Procrastinate-Procrastinate! 

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2. Total INFP loner!

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3.  I am extremely SMART

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4.  Forever Indecisive

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5. Strong sense of deadlines

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6. Interesting hobbies

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7. Nope, not at all annoying

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8. Believe me….I don’t know what’s bothering me, like EVER!

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9. Life’s meaningless…till I get my hands on another book

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10. Animals – Yes! People- Nope, not so much

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Image Courtesy: Pinterest

The Antithesis

You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain.

 

The journey from – “The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, dawn is coming”

to – “You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain”.

The two-face is and will always be one of my most favorite characters from the Batman series. Nolan devised such a brilliant narrative for the hero gone human- Harvey Dent.  Harvey almost comes up as much a hero as Batman and then boom! He turns human. Real is what we love.

Why do I love Batman more than any other super hero? He does not deal with bad people by unleashing a deadly heat vision nor does he swing across buildings through the city with his oh-so-cool web. He is no God and definitely not supernatural , he struggles and feels; he feels hurt, anger, dejection and failure. He has his breakdowns and then he picks himself up. He is human. He is real. So are we, I love him for his reality.

Batman is love but let’s talk about Harvey Dent instead.

“The Joker chose me!” says Harvey

“Because you were the best among us and he wanted to prove, that even someone as good as you could fall” replied Batman.

Harvey was an innately good man but that does not make him immune to brutality, cruelty breaks him; he is not incorruptible. He wanted to make the world a better place, he wanted people to dwell on hope. But when all his efforts fail and he looses everything he loves, reality hits him and it hits him real hard. He crashes and becomes a bitter person; hurt and lost; sorry for believing  that there is morality in this world.

I am big fan of the batman series and not just for the realistic hero it gave us – Bruce Wayne. But also for the villains it portrays.

The most amazing kind of villains are the ones that you can empathize with. It is both amazing and terrifying. They are the scariest type of monsters, you do not commend them for their actions but you understand them. You’re frightened by their deeds in a visceral kind of way because it makes you realize that in the wrong circumstances, you might become a monster too.

 

Image Courtesy: Pinterest

Do You Need Social Media Validation?

Social media is such a curse at times.

It is 3 in the morning..I can’t sleep so I’m on my phone. I browse through Instagram accounts and the process continues like a chain reaction; one account to another then another and another!

I occasionally end up on someone’s account and I don’t know her. “Wow! She is pretty”, I tell myself. This girl is extremely pretty and it’s been just two pictures and I find myself wishing I could be a little like her. I want to dress like her, smile like her, photograph my food like she does. Then there is this other person, travelling and making the best of life. Paris- Barcelona- Venice- Maldives- Greece; he has been everywhere and God! Those pictures! “You have a terribly boring life” I tell myself as I continue to stare at the beautiful landscapes in those fancy pictures.

This feeling of being like somebody when you are not even aware who you are wishing to be is negative. It is toxic.
It’s funny how easy it is to get validation on social media. Click a fancy picture, apply a few filters, add trendy hashtags and voila! It rains likes, people envy you and your life.

Don’t get me wrong, I am one among the crowd..pretty active on social media. I have all the major social connects on my phone and I spend a substantial amount of my time on these platforms… completely drowned in all that it has to offer.

The point is, my self esteem or happiness does not in any way depend on it anymore. I learned my lesson quite early.

I remember, it was the era of Orkut and I was in high school. Orkut was the thing then. Adding albums after albums, I remember sending scraps to my friend who lived next door. Both of us glued to our desktops. We were so fascinated by the trend back then that sometimes we would sit together and write each other testimonials (remember the testimonials section on Orkut? it used to be my favorite!). Every time someone wrote me a testimonial I would read it ten times and smile to myself. It felt good…all that validation!

It took me quite some time to realize where I was going with all of this and that it needed to stop. I had a really fulfilling life outside of it.

There are people who appreciate and love me genuinely, way more than the people who wrote me half baked testimonials; people who did not know the real me. Something so far away from my soul and my real life should not impact my self perception in any way, at all. Like everything else, these media platforms have have their positives and negatives. They have so much to offer! Pick what you like; indulge; have fun; drown if you wish to.

There is just one thing not to do- Do not let your self worth depend on it in any way. Virtual likes and opinions do not define who you are.

 

Image Credits: Bitmoji

Where’s Batman when you need him? 

More than ever we could, collectively, use a superhero! ❤

psychologistmimi

Last weekend, although I am now over a year into my stay in Los Angeles, I decided to play tourist. I have been quite busy on the weekends the last few months looking for a house and working. Not much fun I tell ya. I finally needed a break. I was tired of work and tired of being second guessed by people who live isolated, secluded, homogenous lives. I won’t go further into that because I could be here all day on a rant. And that would not help anything other than allowing me to ventilate a bit all the while elevating my perfect blood pressure. And I don’t need that. Thus, I decided to just chill out I treated myself to a Puerto Rican restaurant, checked out a new neighborhood and went on the Warner Brothers Studio tour. While not as much fun as the studio tour at Universal…

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Musings #1

What if life was not meant to be a competition?

It pains thinking that there were people who thought life is meant to be good, better…best! 

When it could simply have been happy for everyone.
Look what they’ve made of us and this world!