Wisdom & Stuff

Alex says-

“We live in time- it holds and moulds us- but I’ve never felt I understood it very well. And I am not referring to the theories about how it bends and doubles back or may exist elsewhere in parallel versions. No, I mean ordinary, everyday time which clocks and watches assure us passes regularly; tick tock click clock. Is there anything more plausible than a second hand? And yet it takes only the smallest pleasure or pain to teach us times malleability. Some emotions speed it up; others slow it down; occasionally it seems to go missing- until the eventual point where it actually does go missing, never to return.”

Julian Barnes seems to have known or created the smart Alex. He is from the book ‘The Sense of an Ending’ . I have never in my life read such an accurate description of how time really feels. Recently, I have read two books and coincidentally, both of them have taught me so much about time. Or maybe just made me realize what it really is and how powerful a little second can be. It was a wonderful experience reading these beautiful books but I would be lying if I don’t tell you that I am scared of time now; the power it holds and the delusional beings that we are!

A second and things might turn around completely. A second and it could be the difference between life and death. A second and you could have a completely different life. It’s just strange and amazing that there is no control. No matter how much you want it, you will never have it. That’s how life is shaped.

I can’t stop telling myself “Girl, you are small, you are insignificant”

I am not underestimating myself, here I mean this in an entirely different context.We feel we are all powerful, controlling the course of our lives..mastering time and achieving the ultimate.It’s all about us…the happy, sad, horrid- all of it.

What I decide! – What I desire! – How I wish to go ahead with my life! – The people I decide to love and to hate!

To make and break!

ME! ME!! ME!!!

Now when I think back I see Time laughing at me all through it. Every minute of my life when I thought I had the control. I suddenly feel betrayed and utterly stupid but I am not pissed off, not one bit. It just feels funny, you know…like I was pushing this wall with full rigor and then there is this moment; I realize how stupid I am. It’s so damn stupid that it feels funny. I thought I had the controls not even once realizing that there was no control! Just frantic running all around and a perfect illusion of control. Suddenly I feel as if wisdom has hit me like a truck! And I can’t help but wonder if this is an illusion in itself.

If there is one thing that I can conclude from my frantic musings is that I’ll never know enough. I am going to have these illusions all the time and I can at least laugh at myself that moment and tell myself “Just an illusion dear!”

Maybe wisdom is knowing that you don’t know enough.

A friend used to tell me – “You never know”  he used to say this all the time and I thought of it as something to live by. I guess I will add to it today and form a version of it for myself –

“You never know enough” I’ll say.

And then there is another such thought, again from a friend (yes my friends are smart and wise it seems :P) –

“A perfect illusion” she says.

As I sit here in this empty cafe writing about time as it softly, silently ticks by I can only smile and tell myself- Life indeed can be a beautifully sad string of perfect illusions.

What did the Filth get you?

Filthy;

  1. Her shoes heavy, full of dirt – from the soccer field, just had her best game ever!
  2. His blotched white shirt – a canvas as beautiful as his masterpiece!
  3. The window pane thick with grime – helped her get that award winning shot!
  4. His hands…all stained, blue with ink – his ultimate piece of writing made him cry!

 

What did the filth get you?

PS: I don’t like how we label and classify words. Words can’t be classified as good or bad, it’s just a matter of choice; how you wish to string them together.

The Phone Call

Buzzzzzz…my phone goes, it’s you!

The frown on my face transforms to a smile and my eyes burning from the glow of the computer screen instantly light up.

Within seconds, we start ranting about our lives.

Mostly, what has gone wrong and Oh! how things are a mess.

We laugh about it all.

We tell each other, how life would have been easier without some people,

and as I hear your voice,

I softly whisper to myself;

“and so much easier because of some people”

Paper Place

Check this out from Moss and Fog…this is damn cool! *Still Amazed*

Moss and Fog

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Charles Young is a patient, steadfast artist, and his series of architectural paper structures is growing, day by day. Dedicated to producing something new everyday, his miniature paper city, dubbed Paperholm, is now over 600 structures strong, many of them with moving parts. Via Colossal:

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A small town…called HOME

There is a sweet attachment that one has with the place they hail from. Be it a great big city or a small town. Geographically, be it of immense importance or simply lost on the map. You belong to the place and now, it dwells within you somehow.

The sweet nostalgia when you saunter through the streets of the town. I live away but I still call it my home. I might have spent a substantial amount of time in this other lovely city but it will never be home to me.

When asked, “Where are you leaving for?”

I always answer, “Home”

‘Coming home’ is a feeling and this place gives me just that.

Strolling through the market, the shop-owner gives me a bright smile and slips an extra chocolate in my grocery bag. He recognizes the small girl he once knew and I guess she is still the same for him.

In the pitch dark sky, I see thousands and thousands of stars twinkling as I lay on my terrace for hours. The sound of  crickets and  occasional cries of the peacock from the jungle, mingle with the silence that warmly wraps my home atop the hill.

As I put up some little twinkling lights in my garden and look at my parents sitting, sipping tea…the corners of their eyes wrinkling with laughter…I certainly know that this is HOME.

 

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