Do You Need Social Media Validation?

Social media is such a curse at times.

It is 3 in the morning..I can’t sleep so I’m on my phone. I browse through Instagram accounts and the process continues like a chain reaction; one account to another then another and another!

I occasionally end up on someone’s account and I don’t know her. “Wow! She is pretty”, I tell myself. This girl is extremely pretty and it’s been just two pictures and I find myself wishing I could be a little like her. I want to dress like her, smile like her, photograph my food like she does. Then there is this other person, travelling and making the best of life. Paris- Barcelona- Venice- Maldives- Greece; he has been everywhere and God! Those pictures! “You have a terribly boring life” I tell myself as I continue to stare at the beautiful landscapes in those fancy pictures.

This feeling of being like somebody when you are not even aware who you are wishing to be is negative. It is toxic.
It’s funny how easy it is to get validation on social media. Click a fancy picture, apply a few filters, add trendy hashtags and voila! It rains likes, people envy you and your life.

Don’t get me wrong, I am one among the crowd..pretty active on social media. I have all the major social connects on my phone and I spend a substantial amount of my time on these platforms… completely drowned in all that it has to offer.

The point is, my self esteem or happiness does not in any way depend on it anymore. I learned my lesson quite early.

I remember, it was the era of Orkut and I was in high school. Orkut was the thing then. Adding albums after albums, I remember sending scraps to my friend who lived next door. Both of us glued to our desktops. We were so fascinated by the trend back then that sometimes we would sit together and write each other testimonials (remember the testimonials section on Orkut? it used to be my favorite!). Every time someone wrote me a testimonial I would read it ten times and smile to myself. It felt good…all that validation!

It took me quite some time to realize where I was going with all of this and that it needed to stop. I had a really fulfilling life outside of it.

There are people who appreciate and love me genuinely, way more than the people who wrote me half baked testimonials; people who did not know the real me. Something so far away from my soul and my real life should not impact my self perception in any way, at all. Like everything else, these media platforms have have their positives and negatives. They have so much to offer! Pick what you like; indulge; have fun; drown if you wish to.

There is just one thing not to do- Do not let your self worth depend on it in any way. Virtual likes and opinions do not define who you are.

 

Image Credits: Bitmoji

Advertisements

Where’s Batman when you need him? 

More than ever we could, collectively, use a superhero! ❤

psychologistmimi

Last weekend, although I am now over a year into my stay in Los Angeles, I decided to play tourist. I have been quite busy on the weekends the last few months looking for a house and working. Not much fun I tell ya. I finally needed a break. I was tired of work and tired of being second guessed by people who live isolated, secluded, homogenous lives. I won’t go further into that because I could be here all day on a rant. And that would not help anything other than allowing me to ventilate a bit all the while elevating my perfect blood pressure. And I don’t need that. Thus, I decided to just chill out I treated myself to a Puerto Rican restaurant, checked out a new neighborhood and went on the Warner Brothers Studio tour. While not as much fun as the studio tour at Universal…

View original post 388 more words

Musings #1

What if life was not meant to be a competition?

It pains thinking that there were people who thought life is meant to be good, better…best! 

When it could simply have been happy for everyone.
Look what they’ve made of us and this world! 

The girl on the bus ♥️

She sits by my side on the bed…a puppet in her hand, gazing at the screen. Her chocolate brown hair a mess and her voice happy like a child. Oh that smile! God! I have always adored it, the warmth it brings into my life is unparalleled. I know how I would turn the earth around for that one smile.

There is a girl, a wild one. She is free like the wind yet restrained by her will. She carries oceans and storms within her soul, you can’t just tame that spirit…it’s fierce, beautifully fierce. When you stare into her eyes you can’t look for long…they are deep and they speak volumes. It takes a heap of strength to look her in the eye, those eyes are all knowing. She will take you places and you’ll together make everywhere a home. You will wander, you will be lost but when you close your eyes and turn by your side…you’ll feel her warmth. She will sing melodies and you will never in your life be willing to listen to any other voice. Her voice resonates and reaches for you. She is strength and courage, love and hope, tune and melody. She is a healer…so if you are lucky enough…she will reach for your hand or maybe ask you to share your music with her. Take that hand…share that song cause some people are once in a lifetime. They are precious and once they touch your life it’s never the same again.

She changed mine. I found her on a bus five years ago….I shared a song with her and all my life thereafter♥️

I’m an INFP!

I am an INFP!

I’m really not much into zodiac signs and traits or signature/handwriting analysis and other such stuff. All these claim to unveil certain aspects of your personality, tell you things about your core nature- according to the stars or by the degree of slant in your handwriting. Some people can even read things between the lines that form on your forehead when you frown (face reading you know or Physiognomy!). Amusing! So much of wisdom lying around in everything that I do, yet I could never fathom any of it by myself. I don’t understand all of this, I never have and I guess, I never will.INFP

I know…I know, my very first sentence screamed that I’m an INFP. Yes, I am that and I love it. The Myers Briggs personality type is the only personality analysis that I’ve loved and it compels me to believe in it. I took the test long back and I took it again last week, luckily I haven’t changed much…I fall into the same INFP type. I took the test on this site called 16 personalities. It asked me a detailed set of questions and some of those questions got me thinking about myself. Initially the test felt like it was an ordinary personality test, probably crap. But this one was different; not based on your profile picture rather on a set of questions that are so diverse and can actually cover certain aspects of your personality- it’s draws inference on the basis of psychological study I feel. This one feels honest for a change.

I have this general perception about any kind of test or method that claims to tell me about my core nature. It is judgmental I feel; looking at the surface you can’t gauge the depths of the ocean. They are fun nevertheless and so I often click on links that claim to know me better than I know myself.

As far as it is fun and if it gives your moral a boost I assume such random personality tests mean no harm. They mostly tell you things that you already know.

So, you believe in yourself and keep growing meanwhile I’ll go and check out a few other tests! 😀

P.S – I’ll let you know if I find a good one.

Image Credits: 16 personalities

Why do I blog?

This week I crossed of 100 followers on Vanilla with Sprinkles!

When I saw the notification pop up on my phone, I couldn’t help but wonder how long it took me to get here…almost two years. I don’t know how to get followers, publicize or do something that draws more traffic to my blog and then I thought that’s completely okay. I never started my blog with an aim of gaining followers or recognition. It is something I started for myself and the purpose still remains the same. I write for myself and for everyone like me. Going by that, I think I’ve done pretty great so far (Pat on the back!)

Writing liberates me, my blog provides with a space where I can pen down all the things I want to say. When fellow bloggers like my posts or leave comments, it makes me feel peaceful…knowing that there are people who resonate. You always know there are people like you but they are so hard to find in this big…big world! Often you feel like nobody understands which in turn makes you feel alone and lost. My blog has been my happy place; it has given me the space to be crazy-happy-sad-angry all of it! It makes me feel that I have a voice and there are people who are listening.

The same applies when I follow blogs, I can’t simply follow a blog or like someone’s posts to get a follow back. I just don’t understand how that would satisfy me, I know it won’t. I want to read about people, their happy and sad stories. I want to look at beautiful pictures..pictures that talk to me. Read about fascinatingly ordinary experiences and live them alongside. I want to be there for other people and I want them to know that they’re being heard. I want them to know they are not alone.

So, this is a simple note of gratitude to all the people who choose to stay by my side. Thank you for listening and telling me everyday that I am not alone.

Much Love ❤

My time at the cafe

Do you have a Happy Place?

Recently I was exchanging comments with a fellow blogger about places and what they are like. It made me think about my time at the Cafe.

Yes, it’s THE Cafe! I go there alone, usually to write. Sometimes to think or to read.

The place is old and a little worn out. The sign sometimes tilts a little and the corner light occasionally flickers. I know the music, what song will play next; I know the playlist by-heart. The guy at the counter knows that I like my water cold and my latte plain- no cream, no syrup. The second tile near the counter creaks; I deliberately step on it each time so that I can listen to the sound of it. The tree outside is a beautiful one, with it branches low. Autumn turns its leaves orange and yellow and the wind russtles lightly through it. I have seen it endure some storms too. After around four in the evening, the sun peeks at me through its netted branches. I always look up at it from my spot (Oh, I forgot to tell you about my spot, the second sofa to the right of the door and another one to the left, if ever my spot is occupied). 

Most of the days, a man visits the cafe. He sits on the table that is diagonally across me outside the door- always. 

He sits down and places his keys plus a pack of cigarettes side by side at the corner of the table- always. 

Then looks up at me and waves with a bright smile on his face- ALWAYS. 

And always, I wave back 🙂

Somedays he keeps looking at his phone or he reads the newspaper. I don’t know his name still I’d like to call him my friend. Because there have been days when I was thinking and writing about something really sad but then he comes along and smiles at me in such a warm way that my mood lifts a little. He does not know this but he is one of the reasons that make my time at the cafe so peaceful. I’d like to talk to him someday or maybe not.

This place is good for my soul, I fathomed. When I am here I think better, clearer ; It is like my mind palace. When I am not writing anything, I just look out of the window at things, people. The simplest of things like the wasp buzzing outside the pane or the froth in my coffee slowly dying – seem to be interesting. Even though I am alone, I feel at peace with myself and my place in this universe. Looking at the lights passing by, things seem to slow down- like I am sitting there, cozy all by myself and everything passes by in such blinding speed that I can feel my breath; pulse twitching on my wrist. Yes, I exist and I am at peace.

This cafe has given me so many stories, feelings, memories and smiles. I’ve filled diaries here, written some beautiful lines, read wonderful books; I have thought about people, forgiveness, hatered, love, gratitude.

I am so thankful that this cafe exists.
I think everyone deserves a place like this!

A Moment’s Sillage

Transient; always reminds me of another word- ‘Sillage‘.  It’s French, I suppose.

Sillage; The lingering of scent.

I like to inherit it in a more general sense. ‘A moment’s sillage‘ ; that is meant to diffuse and vanish. Like the lingering beauty of fireworks after they disappear from the dark inked sky leaving behind specks of fire that still crackle a little while you keep staring at the sky with wonder and beauty your eyes.

Transient has the same effect. You have this beautiful moment before your eyes and you know in that very moment, that it is determined to fade away. The beauty of it however, lingers around after it vanishes.

I’m no photographer but I like taking pictures. Every picture in a way is an evidence of how transitory life really is. Every moment is a fleeting moment. It is here and then it goes away just like that,..without you even noticing it. It just goes by moment after moment. Here are some of the best transient memories from my pocket-

Pretty Girls Don’t Get Less Than A Hundred Likes On Their Selfie

We need to remind ourselves every now and then that Likes don’t define us! Must read! ❤

Scattered Scripturient

I thought I was depressed because of social media.

I posted a picture of myself on Instagram and five minutes later, I deleted it, because nobody liked it. I thought I looked pretty in it. I genuinely loved the picture, but in a span of five minutes, I decided I didn’t like it anymore, because nobody else did.

Two weeks later I posted it again with a stronger filter and increased the brightness, and I got 57 likes, and I felt good again, but then an overwhelming feeling of disappointment washed over me. I liked the first picture better, so why didn’t I keep it up?

It’s because I define my worth by how many likes I get on a picture or a post, and the realization of that fact actually causes my stomach to flop.

We’re the generation of social media. We all have four core social media accounts…

View original post 716 more words

Dear Someone (#3)

Dear Someone,

Today was strange. I woke up a little different.

Last night I slept on a different side of my bed, hoping I would get up a different person…I am not sure if that’s the reason I feel bizarre today.

I got up and I ran 3.5 km with music blasting in my head. I saw an adorable dog on my way back and I stopped and petted him for a while; his name was Bolton. I looked up at his owner and wondered why he would name such a sweetheart Bolton…out of all the possible names on this Earth. Later I laughed at it again because it wasn’t actually such a terrible name after all; Bolton got me thinking about Ramsay Bolton somehow. I thought about Duke and Lucy and how I miss them so much. Then a random Instagram post popped up in my head-

After, I felt a little better and smiled to myself. Also, I skipped my breakfast today instead added ten extra minutes of music and crazy dancing. Then hogged over lunch like anything.

I’m trying to work on myself; smile more, show more kindness to others and self; do what makes me feel positive about my life. Let’s see how it goes (fingers crossed).

Hope you are thinking about your life and smiling by yourself this very moment 🙂

Sending you much of love,

The Other Someone.